Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
