I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
