I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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