hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
