Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
