I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
