They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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