Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
