Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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