What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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