well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
