Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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