so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
