My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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