I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
