fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
