it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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