Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
