Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
