Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
