I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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