the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
