he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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