Where is the hickey?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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