I just cut my nipple shaving
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
