we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
