If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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