She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
