He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
