I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
