great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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