I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
