i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
