You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
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