I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Randomize
