I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
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