No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
