I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
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