Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
