I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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