I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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