just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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