What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
