The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
