I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
soo... how was my night?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
