Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Boobs are out for the taking
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
