Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
