oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
