That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
