I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
